I love sugar.
Feeling the fuzz in my body.
Warmth is spreading through my veins.
Energy, I am on top of the world.
Warmth and love.
Feeling very full now.
This was me at a younger age. The feeling I got when eating carbs.
Jetty, at the age of 8, was feeling very lonely, unloved, and maybe even feeling abandoned. Candy gave me a feeling of warmth.
Thirty years later I realized that that particular feeling of warmth, was the replacement for a lack of love in my life.
Honestly, even though I am receiving lots of real love now, I still get a bit of that rush feeling from sugar. Maybe you get it too! Maybe it’s true that sugar is addicting.
And you know what, I am ok with that, I can accept that part of me, I even love that part of me.
As a child, I would go to the local baker, and buy “snoepjes”(= candy), and other goodies, that gave me that quick fix. At the age of 13, I had to bike to high school for an hour. After a long day in school, we would usually stop at the local grocery store to stock up on a huge bag of chips, and other snacks. I would have finished everything before I got home.
Eating passed the feeling of discomfort. That eventually turned into an eating disorder.
I started struggling with weight, or maybe it was more feeding off of the comments that others gave to me, about big hips etc. Looking back, my hips weren’t even that big.
Anyways, at 16 I started dieting, and of course, no more sugar. I missed it big time, because I still wasn’t getting the love I was craving. At the age of 18 I figured out a way to eat sugar and not gain weight, sadly I started to purge. That pattern of illness continued until I turned 42.
So I have a love-hate relationship with sugar. But, as I said before, I am ok with that. I accept that part of me. Who doesn’t love starchy comfort foods.
It wasn’t until I discovered the Keto & Carbs lifestyle, Keto combined with 1 day a week of taking a break from health foods, and just eat carbs, sugar & salty! (enter Rebel Carb Party). My problem was fixed. This was the freedom I needed. Throughout the week I am feeding the cells in every organ of my body healthy fuel, and once a week feeding my mind with junk food. The nice side effect is though, with this sugar boost, at the same time I boost all my hormones and my metabolism. It resulted in a weight loss of about 35 lbs.
Unreal huh, yes I know.
It looks like us women DO want to punish ourselves. It looks like we DO want the hard way.
It looks like us women DO not believe in the easier, sustainable ways.
It’s called self sabotage. We are very good at that.
Denying yourself off things, makes you even want it more.
Letting your fixation on being 100% perfect go.
I wish I figured this out way earlier.
But something in this world always wants us to believe things that are totally not true.
Those things make our lives so much harder.