In 2008, I went to PHAT Camp.
To do this day, I don’t know why it was called that…
Besides that they probably couldn’t call it Camp Fat, because it would be too much.
If you hadn’t guessed yet, it was a “fat camp” – a place where you would go and seclude yourself with the end goal being to lose weight.
…because living a totally different life than your normal life is definitely the secret to lasting weight loss…
PHAT Camp was one of those fitness/bodybuilding guru events; all about “pumping you up”, being super motivational, with LOTS of workouts AND EVEN MORE LOTS of talking about food.
Spoiler alert – I didn’t love it at PHAT Camp.
While I was there, I worked with one of their trainers, who had never heard of CrossFit…
I was doing CrossFit at the time, so I found this to be a red flag.
So with that (and many other reasons) I departed Camp PHAT.
Like anyone leaving a relationship, I rebounded into buying into a 12-week diet program.
Doing this type of thing back then made me so excited.
I would think, “this is it for sure this time, my new thing to get skinny and stay skinny.”
Now, if you haven’t been paying attention, you may not have seen this coming…
I did it for a couple of weeks and then I broke down.
Exhausted. Binge-eating. Bulimia relapse.
Apparently, I had been eating 616 hundred calories with six workouts per week of 90 minutes.
I got skinny really fast (exciting!) but my body couldn’t handle it and I was miserable (depressing!) and depleted.
That was just one of my many new diets I loved to leapfrog around…
I always thought my answer was some diet. Hopping from diet to diet, like this is the one. But it wasn’t the one, it was an addiction.
I thought that food and exercise was the solution. It wasn’t…
The change was when I finally realized that the problem was not outside, but inside of me.
No diet in the world was ever going to change or substitute for the work within me that I had to do.
I had to change my limiting beliefs around food and exercise and around a lot of other things in life.
I had to do the work!!
The work that really worked for me was journaling, and coaching/therapy sessions.
Doing that, keeping track of my daily emotional triggers, going back into my life and seeing what things caused the emotions that drove my behaviors, it changed my life.
In my experience, I’ve found that eating disorders are frequently linked to childhood trauma or problems caused by emotional disconnection from one or more parent/siblings.
Those things are usually at the core of your eating disorder or your “disordered eating” habits.
And if you don’t go to the core, you’ll never heal and instead keep coming back to the same habits, thoughts, behaviors, etc.
You will always stay stuck.
But, ya know, I had a lot of internal healing to do, and it wasn’t easy, but I’m a warrior (just like you are) and I got through it…
Which means you can too!
No more bulimia, no more binge eating.
Thing is, you don’t have to stay stuck. Do that internal healing, let go of that emotional weight inside, and watch the physical weight disappear.
You can leave behind the shame, guilt, regret and restriction.
Stop leapfrogging from diet to diet, trying to find “the one”. You can get to that ideal weight.
So if you are kind of always researching the next best thing and thinking: “oh, well vegan is going to be the thing for me” or “keto is going to be the thing for me”…
It’s time to look beyond the diets.
To truly heal and to reach your ideal weight and stay at that weight without all the struggle, and shame and second-guessing, then you should start to focus on a little internal healing.
Find yourself a coach (it could even be me) or some other coach or therapist.
Whoever you choose or whatever feels good for you…
But please, find that help, you deserve it.