Tuesday morning May 14th 2019, I left 4.30 am in my car to YCC, Calgary, travelled to San Jose California, destination Monterey, Asilomar Conference grounds.
Long day of travel, I arrived little after 7 pm, shoved a pork chop (with butter) in my mouth, and immediately the retreat started from 7 – 9.
After 1 hour I left, I had to recenter in my room. I chose for myself, heck what others think of me. I needed to recenter in my room, on my own, with a nice glass of wine!
Unpacked, and slept early.
Next day, first real day of retreat. Honestly I felt a bit resistance to it all, and a bit overwhelmed about the “group-aspect”. Truth is, I don’t really like big herds of people, give me the one on one, and I feel comfortable. I went in with NO EXPECTATIONS!
Kyle Cease was (and still is) amazing, I really “get him”, and how he brings the serious shit. Total truth for me. Nice by- product: he is extremely funny.
The first 2 days were about THE LETTING GO OF YOUR SHIT. Letting go of the Wounded-Inner-Child.
Which I had been working on already for the last 6 weeks through meditation. The Universe has an agenda people. I had no idea what this retreat would be all about, I just knew I had to go. No coincidence that those first 2 days, were really about shedding that layer of the wounded inner child. I left her at the beach of Monterey, so no need for me to ever revisit that place again.
That baggage is gone!!!! Yay for me. It’s a relief, I can tell you that.
The last 2 days were about finding your inner power/purpose. The living in the moment feeling, and just knowing that I AM, just at any moment I am. No matter what, I am. It’s a calming feeling whenever you recenter within yourself that you just are (I am). I am fine!
Some people decided to quit their jobs, and start a whole new life. Others left relationships, others were on the mission of finding a new life partner.
Day 3 was magic, Kyle was talking, and all of a sudden my heart started pounding like a lunatic, and my hand raised. I had to speak. So I did. Got the mic, and told my story, of the last 1.5 years.
Some felt empowered by my story, that was an amazing feeling, to know that I do make a difference in this world. By telling my story others got inspiration.
Overall recap, at times I felt really uncomfortable.
But feeling uncomfortable sometimes is good. If you feel resistance to certain things, it probably means you should do more of it!
Lots of hugging strangers, which was just plain out weird to me as a 100% Dutchy, we are not hugging strangers, only our family. At the same time it felt good too.
So more hugging with my husband and kids, for sure.
The group thing, truly after a day of being with the group I really had to just be with myself, alone, with my book, and glass of wine in my room.
I decided to, from now on, wake up every morning 30 minutes earlier, at 5.30 or 6.00 am, and just meditate in silence. Just being with myself. Just being there for me. Setting the intention for the day. It feels great to be with me. Not having to numb myself anymore with food, shopping or partying. I AM